Pursuing God Is Lonely Sometimes

Sometimes following God is lonely. Really lonely.

I was told a few years ago by a mentor and leader, that if I pursue the path of leadership, it can be extremely lonely... and boy. It sure is.

I wasn't ready for the isolation that comes along with position. When you begin to teach, preach, and pursue ministry people don't know what to think or feel about you. Some may feel you are too stuck up to enjoy their company or the things they like to do. Friends may feel like you're leaving them behind. Neither may be true, but sometimes when God asks you to take a step in His direction, others may not like what that means for them.

I wasn't ready for the isolation that is imposed on myself by a better relationship with my Creator. I don't enjoy doing the things I used to like doing. I don't like having conversations at other people's expense, that has never been me, and even now, I can't even occupy a room while it is happening.

I've become a confidant. I've become a counselor. But in doing so I've isolated myself by not having people I feel I can go to when I need a confidant and counselor.

I've had friends, or people I thought were friends, disappear from my life. They just walked away. One day they say they want to meet up, see my new house, the next thing I know a few months go by and I wonder why I haven't heard from them. I find they deleted me from their social media... friend ghosted.

And when I see them again in public they can pretend all is okay, but we know it isn't true.

In all the changes in life, there has been a faithful handful. Ones that have stuck closer than brothers, have held me up when Satan's arrows were coming in hot after me and my family, and held my hand during my times of need. They've also made it a point to remind me that in all things lean on my God and His Word.

I've dove deeper into God's word because of them, grown stronger, and have seen God's faithfulness in the trials of leadership. God has used this season to refine and strengthen me, and my relationships. My husband and I are closer than ever, and my group of friends are smaller, but mightier than ever.

Leadership is hard. Working for God's Kingdom is the hardest and yet most rewarding thing any of us can do, but it isn't without its hardships.

So my best pieces of advice?

Ride the wave and let God trim the fat.

Stay in the word and keep godly counsel.

Surrender to the process.

God is in control. I know it is so lonely, some friends may leave you but the ones that will get real with you and stay real with you are God sent.

A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Proverbs 18:24

I'm thankful for the ones that have become my family.